


Un Poco Mass Murder

by Dontclogmytoilet



Category: VAV (Band)
Genre: Ayno and Baron are housemates/roomates, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Homies, Lou and Ace are roomates/housemates and later Jacob too, No Plot/Plotless, St van and Ziu are roomates/housemates, VAV chat au, VAV chat fic, VAV group chat, VAV group chat au, chat au, everyones a lil homo for each other cos frik u, just homies bein homies, no relationships but minor ship moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21703429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontclogmytoilet/pseuds/Dontclogmytoilet
Summary: VAV chat ficUSERNAMES:stvan: cashdaddybaron: chuckyoppaace: helpfulhardwarefolksayno: aynonotanaljacob: pissboychipslou: hoesungziu: infinitynbeyondi update like every so often so keep checking back for new chapters o whateva
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> pee

helpfulhardwarefolks: guess who just got

~ r o b b e d ~ 👅💦

chuckyoppa: OMG ARE U OKAY ???¿?¿?¿¿¿

aynonotanal: f

hoesong: thats an L

cashdaddy: wooyoung are you????? okay????

pissboychips: homeboy got game ended omg

infinitynbeyond: BAE ARE U GOOD????

helpfulhardwarefolks: im fine i lied i just wanted #attention <3

chuckyoppa: anyways @pissboychips youre my favorite now bb muah 💕💕

pissboychips: omg guys i just wanna thank not only God but Jesus as well,,, for helping me get to where i am 2day,,,,

hoesong: can u guys sh*t u*,,,, im tryna play minecraft n ur notifs keep making me mess up and d word brah,,,

aynonotnal: f

[cashdaddy left]

helpfulhardwarefolks: daddy come back :(


	2. Chapter 2

hoesong: guys s*nd help how in the H*CK do you,,, fix a r o o f question mark ,,

hoesong: guys wake the fuck up omg idccc if its 2:35 am i am baby and baby needs HELP 

hoesong: yoonho u are LITERALLY leaving me on seen ill pee on your bucket hats 

aynonotanal: ok, rude, i was searching up how to fix a roof what the hell bae,, im breaking up with you and leaving u for steve harvey noona smh my head,,

hoesong: BABEY WAIT NOOOOOOO OMG did u find anything tho cause its leaking haha please i just want my mom

cashdaddy: im not ur mom but i have tiddies thats close enough

hoesong: thank u daddy :')

aynonotanal: ok so how did ur roof get game ended

hoesong: thats none of ur fukin business pardner

helpfulhardwarefolks: he was jumpin n poppin we joppin on his mf bed 

hoesong: ur the worst roommate ever im literally not going to pay bills or rent anymore wooyoung said HOSUNG NO RIGHTS 

pissboychips: u guys woke me up whos gon sing me to sleep now huh

cashdaddy: sorry my tiddies cant sing yet 😔

chuckyoppa: im coming cobi my #son

hoesong: um wtf????? mommy??? what about???? me?????????? im baby?????? baby needs HELP???????? 

pissboychips: shut up im babier 

hoseong: NO UR NOT OMGGGGG DONT EVEN???????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿

infinitynbeyond: omg hes gonna pee look what you did cob

aynonotanal: keem hoesonk, uhhhhh it said use like,,, paper mache n shit 

hoesong: bruh thats WORK ,, 

helpfulhardwarefolks: im not paying if you cave our fuken roof in hosung

hoesong: dw i have a sugar daddy

chuckyoppa: WHO???????

cashdaddy: aha 😏

infinitynbeyond: ??????!?!?!??!?!?!?¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im #tired but this is more fun uh yuhhhh

infinitynbeyond: mama come thru i was trying to cook pasta because i was h*ngry and it tastes UGLY this is so homophobic

chuckyoppa: heejun i am lit rally at work

helpfulhardwarefolks: omg a working man,,, how sessy 😏

hoesong: bae wtf i thot u loved me,,

aynonotanal: HOSUNG BB WHAT THE HELL U CHEDDAR????????

aynonotanal: ***cheater wtf 

hoesong: f

helpfulhardwarefolks: f

cashdaddy: f

infinitynbeyond: f

pissboychips: f

chuckyoppa: is for friends who do stuff 2gether :))

aynonotanal: ...

infinitynbeyond: OK BUT MY PASTA GUYS PLEASE IM HUNGREE????????

cashdaddy: i got u

infinitynbeyond: thank u daddy

hoesong: geumhyuk only man

chuckyoppa: sexy

helpfulhardwarefolks: stan daddy

pissboychips: literally WHO doesnt stan daddy wtf,,,

cashdaddy: what if... daddy... doesnt stan... daddy...

helpfulhardwarefolks: DADDY NOOOOOOO U GOTTA #LUV URSELF OR WHATEVA S*OKJIN SAID

aynonotanal: whyd u censor homeboys name

helpfulhardwarefolks: cobi did sumn to my phone and now it autocorrects it to censor kpop star names ://///////

pissboychips: u hav no got dang proof

helpfulhardwarefolks: YOU DID IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME???????????

hoesong: then why didnt u stop him-

helpfulhardwarefolks: its a little difficult when hes sitting in you??????

helpfulhardwarefolks: ***ON

hoseong: omg jacob sit in me too wtf

chuckyoppa: me too thats h*t 😍😍

aynonotanal: sit in all of us bebe <3

helpfulhardwarefolks: u guys are literal wooyoungphobes

pissboychips: aha,,


	4. Chapter 4

aynonotanal: fuck fukc fuk fuk im faking my death right fukin now as we speak and changing my idenity 

aynonotanal: does canada take refugees

aynonotanal: actually no geumhyuk pl e , a s e ,, rent me a room in your tiddies

cashdaddy: whats wrong

aynonotanal: h

cashdaddy: ????? homie???

aynonotanal: whats the collateral damage of a missing case of soda,,,

cashdaddy: bitch did you fukin steal???? im disappointed in you s*n

aynonotanal: NOOOOOO I DIDNTTTT PERHAPS I DID BUT IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS SOMEONE HOLD ME

chuckyoppa: wh

chuckyoppa: what the hell is going on yoonho wot happened?¿¿?¿?

aynonotanal: ok so once upon a time ,, there was a lil rat who went shopping with his homeboy hosung,, and he really wanted more cola,, so he picked up the case n said if he didnt buy anything else,, he would get the #soda

cashdaddy: ok so???????

aynonotanal: sO this ,, lil rat,, uhhh,, wasnt paying attention???? and didnt realize he lit rally walked out the store with the mf soda

hoesung: what the fr*ck u werent supposed to tell anyone omg 

aynonotanal: n die of a guilty concious???? i think not bitch boy

hoesung: oh what and priest geumhyuk will forgive you of your sins???????????????

cashdaddy: yeah kinda

hoesung: thats kinda hot ngl

chuckyoppa: yeah it is omg daddy cleanse all of our sins <3

pissboychips: w hy,,, do we call him that like who the fuk is responsible for stealing his name from him ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ who started this got dang daddy shit,,

helpfulhardwarefolks: me 😏

aynonotanal: aye but he dont argue with it 👀

hoesung: he l iterally responds to it,,

cashdaddy: 👁

chuckyoppa: we are all collectively feeding into some weird ass father complex of his,,,

aynonotanal: ok but am i going to jail or not

helpfulhardwarefolks: oh lmfao what if you shove the soda up your ass theyll never find it 😍😍

hoesung: i literally can NOT tell you guys how loud this mf laughed rn hes literally not even in the same room as me what the f uc k why are u laughing at ur own j*ke so hard wooyoung are u ok

helpfulhardwarefolks: what if im NOT okay 😋😋😋

hoesung: come get yall hug??????? im rite here¿¿¿¿¿

helpfulhardwarefolks: ok bye homies im gonna h*g h*sung if i dont respond its cos i sunk inside his massive tits

infinitynbeyond: h-


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can u believe everything in the universe has led up to this moment where i have the ability to name jacob "pissboychips" ,,, wild

pissboychips: ok im literally not gay at all and like no homo whatsoever this is just one homie to another but u guys need to stop posting hawt pics on inst*gram b4 that changes,,

helpfulhardwarefolks: just say geumhyuk is hot and go

pissboychips: what?????¿¿??? bro i was talking about h*sung lmfao

cashdaddy: i-

aynonotanal: bae wtf what about me #fakefan

chuckyoppa: yoonho i think ur sessy <3

aynonotanal: omg hyeop bb <3333

hoesung: wot

infinitynbeyond: @helpfulhardwarefolks am i sessy???

helpfulhardwarefolks: yes one hunnit percent <3333333

infinitynbeyond: grass yas 

hoesung: u guys are gross

pissboychips: say sike rn

hoesung: not u ur not gross u and daddy geumhyuk are the only ungross mfs

pissboychips: say no homo so i dont feel weird sending a heart 

hoesung: no <333333

pissboychips: omg <3333333

cashdaddy: im ur sugar daddy can i have a heart too

hoesung: omg ofc daddy <333333333

aynonotanal: yeehaw ,,,

infinitynbeyond: shut up caucasian


	6. Chapter 6

ao3 is being stinky poopoo so ignore this ch*pter smh my head im testin a theory hrhryghrbsndbdhdj word words words words fuk u stream poison ur mom your mom ur mom ur mom ur mom hr mom


	7. Chapter 7

poopoopeepee ignore this portion of text im frickign hacking the system the chapter will resume shortly binch ~~~~~~~~~~~~

hoesung: LMFAO YOOO A SUGAR DADDY JUST LIKED MY PIC???????? WHAT THE F U K

cashdaddy: so youre cheating on me </3

hoesung: omg bae no i would never

cashdaddy: yes u are this is so sad

cashdaddy: sadder than the big bitch gingerbread mans death from shrek 2

hoesung: mongo????? was that his got dang name???

infinitynbeyond: bruh it was mango u dumbass fake shrek fan

cashdaddy: now why the FUCK would they name a gingerbread man after a fruit,,,

infinitynbeyond: why did u name ur dog after money u capitalist fucker

cashdaddy: aye cause i be makin that b r e a d

hoesung: n thats why hes my sugar daddy <3

cashdaddy: speaking of which, bro send feet pics

hoesung: okay 😍😍

infinitynbeyond: lmfaoooo hosung got them veiny ass witch fukin feet mane wtffffff

hoesung: I AM,, LITERALLY JUS SITTIGN HERE,, JUS VIBING,, WTF MAN

cashdaddy: dont look at my sugar baby's feet?????????

infinitynbeyond: i do what i want

aynonotanal: wait,,, do he actually like pay u for foot pics or??????

hoesung: now slow down there buckaroo thats none of ur busniess perhaps geumhyuk is juss a good homie and pays me for not got dang reason

cashdaddy: 👁

aynonotanal: aye maybe im jus tryna make that coin too,,,

hoesung: back off hes MY sugar d*ddy

cashdaddy: omg <3333

aynonotanal: fake fan

chuckyoppa: arent sugar daddies like,,, old?? omg geumhyuk hag smh how did we not see it,,

cashdaddy: i am so mf young i am a fountain of youth dont call me a hag ill k*ck you

chuckyoppa: ill pee on your dog.

helpfulhardwarefolks: thats hot


	8. Chapter 8

infinitynbeyond: hey wheres jacob hes been inactive lately????

hoesung: prolly has us fukin muted

pissboychips: OH SHIT HAHA I FORGOT TO UNMUTE YALL LMFAOOOOO

infinitynbeyond: rude??????? why were we muted in the first place 💔

hoesung: he was watching my little pony

pissboychips: fuk off i was watching netflix and ur notifs kept popping up n i was like bitch mute that shit

infinitynbeyond: all im hearing is that jACOB DOESNT LOVE US 

pissboychips: STFU I DIDNT SAY THAT 

chuckyoppa: i literally birthed you from my womb wtf 

cashdaddy: i fukin fed you with my nippies u ungrateful bastard

helpfulhardwarefolks: wtf????? feed me with ur nipples too got dang????

cashdaddy: no

helpfulhardwarefolks: this is why im shorter than u big bitches cos daddy wont f ee d me

pissboychips: take this L

hoesung: ill feed u bae <3

infinitynbeyond: ill feed you 😍😍

hoesung: I SAID IT FIRST WOOYOUNG COME GET THESE NIPS

infinitynbeyond: YOU STUPID BITCH I WAS TYPING WITH ONE HAND THIS IS UNFAIR

helpfulhardwarefolks: sorry heejun bb hosung is closer 💔

hoesung: roommate tingz <3

infinitynbeyond: u guys suck

helpfulhardwarefolks: hosungs nipples

cashdaddy: aye what the fuk 

chuckyoppa: how are u gonna act surprised u literally started this

pissboychips: omg he has memory loss respect the hag u degenerate


	9. Chapter 9

cashdaddy: just stopping by to remind u fukign kids that my p*nis is 420 inches AND retractable in case u fools were feelin confident

chuckyoppa: why r you telling kids ur pp size

helpfulhardwarefolks: mommy im scared the big pp man keeps talking to us

cashdaddy: WAIT NO-

chuckyoppa: GET AWAY FROM MY KIDS U FUKIN CREEP 

chuckyoppa: @helpfulhardwarefolks hide in my tiddy crease mijo ;(

aynonotanal: wot on earth

helpfulhardwarefolks: we colonizing the hyeopiddies <3

cashdaddy: pls no im not creepy omg 

hoesung: shut up and retract your penis 

cashdaddy: how bout i retract your paycheck

hoesung: ok lets not be fukin dramatic <3

aynonotanal: aye ill take his coin

helpfulhardwarefolks: hyeopiddies warmer than heejun's smile 😏

chuckyoppa: 😏

infinitynbeyond: never thot id see the day my smile is compared to chunghyeops boobs,,,

hoesung: what the hell wooyoung i thought u only sunk into MY tiddies

helpfulhardwarefolks: wait bae no its not like that

hoesung: cheater??????

chuckyoppa: take this fatass L hosung

pissboychips: hosung ill sink in your tiddies 😍😍

aynonotanal: me too <3333

hoesung: come over????? tiddie sinkin party?????

pissboychips: yell heah free cuddles with hosung n yoonho 

helpfulhardwarefolks: wait wtf can i join

hoesung: no ur a cheater go sleep in chunghyeops tits

aynonotanal: im bringing o r an g j o o c ,e,,

helpfulhardwarefolks: hosung p l ease

hoesung: por que

pissboychips: open the mf door tiddy host hosung

helpfulhardwarefolks: yoonho make him say yes omg

aynonotanal: u literally live in the same house why are u asking me

pissboychips: yoonho hurry up hosungs pillow tiddies are comfy as f r i c k

aynonotanal: omg im almost there

helpfulhardwarefolks: hOSUNG PL E ASE

hoesung: gimmie a reason

helpfulhardwarefolks: cos im the OG tiddy sinker and cos im #cold

hoesung: omg ok bae com to my room cob is already here

aynonotanal: wait can u unlock the door first

helpfulhardwarefolks: yayaya

cashdaddy: @chuckyoppa @infinitynbeyond theyre literally having a cuddle party without us what the f u c k

chuckyoppa: were literally babies wheres our invite

infinitynbeyond: chunghyeop come over we'll have our own cuddle part @ me n geumhyuks place

chuckyoppa: omg im coming 

cashdaddy: hELL YEAH


	10. Chapter 10

helpfulhardwarefolks: so me n hosung decided to adopt a new member of the family :))

pissboychips: its me im baby im their son now

chuckyoppa: o shit fr?

hoesung: yeah i tiddy fed him last night its official

chuckyoppa: omg conrgrarsstion

chuckyoppa: what the fuck *congratulations 

helpfulhardwarefolks: nah jk what they mean is cobi moved in with us

pissboychips: yeah now open the fucking door these bags heavy

hoesung: im comin bae

aynonotanal: how long u think it gon take em before cobi dies under their care 

helpfulhardwarefolks: excuse u me and hosung are amazing parents/homies/platonic bfs cobi will be THRIVIN here

chuckyoppa: cobi is a literal toddler have fun

helpfulhardwarefolks: hes the only toddler i like kids r actually kinda stinky

cashdaddy: hmu if u need help with child support hosung

hoesung: here to inform u that cobi has already fallen UP the stairs within his first five minutes of living here

helpfulhardwarefolks: got damn that was loud as fuk is he ok

hoesung: ofc he is hes jacob hes a bad bitch

chuckyoppa: yall get ur first kid n suddenly dont know how to act smh 

helpfulhardwarefolks: u guys literally denied me milk ur worse parents 

pissboychips: i didnt even fall that loud ur just a bastard

helpfulhardwarefolks: u kno what u can sleep alone on ur first night

pissboychips: no i wont hosung said he would sleep in my room 2nite get urself a homie like mine

helpfulhardwarefolks: wait wtf without me 

pissboychips: yeah <3 u can sleep alone bae

helpfulhardwarefolks: haha wait,,, dont play like dat,,, hahha cobi it was juss a joke

helpfulhardwarefolks: pls dont leave me alone 

hoesung: whats the password

helpfulhardwarefolks: penis

pissboychips: youre in

hoesung: access granted

helpfulhardwarefolks: :,)


	12. Chapter 12

aynonotanal: BARK BARK BARK GRRRRRR BARK BARK GRRRRRRRWOOF!

hoesung: now what the fu-

infinitynbeyond: furry 😍😍

hoesung: i hate it here

aynonotanal: ahem... BARK BARK MEOW HISS

hoesung: STOP????????????

chuckyoppa: yall i-

pissboychips: hey 😎

aynonotanal: wheres woo and hyuk

aynonotanal: @helpfulhardwarefolks @cashdaddy  
cmere babes 😏

hoesung: woo.... run ..

helpfulhardwarefolks: i was taking a dump :/

cashdaddy: what yall want

cashdaddy: why he barkin

chuckyoppa: idk furry stuff ig

aynonotanal: COUGH ok ,,, u r all wondering why i have gathered you here tonight 

Infinitynbeyond: yessssirrrrrrrr

pissboychips: no one even say hey back :'(

hoesung: hey bae 😏

aynonotanal: stfu im talking

aynonotanal: anyways

aynonotanal: i know we all got hella drunk last night .. but who tf stole my weighted blanket 🗿

helpfulhardwarefolks: your

helpfulhardwarefolks: your weighted blanket?????

hoesung: LMAOOOOO

infinitynbeyond: i ate it so good 😍😍

cashdaddy: well who was in your room...

pissboychips: i was vibing with cash da whole time,,, 

chuckyoppa: gwhjekfkfkkfkd????????? maybe you left it in another room????

hoesung: wait i think it was me-

aynonotanal: MAN

hoesung:I DIDNT TAKE IT ON PURPOSE I FELL ASLEEP IN YOUT ROOM AND WOKE UP IN MY HOUSE CUDDLING WOOYOUNG BUT THERE WAS A RANDOM BLANKET BUT I FIGURED IT WAS WOOS

infinitynbeyond: always da homosexuals 😒

helpfulhardwarefolks: hosung is UNBELIEVABLY cuddly when hes drunk,,,

aynonotanal: CAN I HAVE IT BACK???????????? BEFORE I SHOOT HYEOP

chuckyoppa: i breathed >:( 

cashdaddy: dont kill baby 😔

hoesung: man stop pissing ill drive it over rn smh

pissboychips: just kinda wild how yoon rlly thot the best way to summon alla us was 2 bark,,,,,,


End file.
